“Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know” by Meg Meeker, M.D. is a great book for dads of girls.
Meeker is a an MD, a therapist, and a Christian. Although at times redundant, this is a great book for any father of girls. She shares heart-breaking, inspiring, and amazing stories from the girls and women that she has counseled.
The 10 Secrets are the subject of the chapters:
- You Are the Most Important Man in Her Life
- She Needs a Hero
- You Are Her First Love
- Teach Her Humility
- Protect Her, Defend Her (and use a shotgun if necessary)
- Pragmatism and Grit: Two of Your Greatest Assets
- Be the Man You Want Her to Marry
- Teach Her Who God Is
- Teach Her to Fight
- Keep Her Connected
A quote from her introductory chapter:
“After more than twenty years of listening to daughters–and doling out antibiotics, antidepressants, and stimulants to girls who have gone without a father’s love–I know just how important fathers are.”
“If you truly understood just how profoundly you can influence your daughter’s life, you would be terrified, overwhelmed, or both.”
“The only way you will alienate your daughter in the long term is by losing her respect, failing to lead, or failing to protect her.” …”Fathers worry that if they push their teens or establish too many rules, they’ll just rebel. But the greatest danger comes from fathers who surrender leadership, particularly during their children’s teenage years. Authority is not a threat to your relationship with your daughter-it is what will bring you closer to your daughter, and what will make her respect you more.”
My thoughts:
The chapter about protecting daughters was eye-opening. It was difficult to read. It was frightening to read about how sex-saturated our culture is even though I already knew it. She gives statistics through the book which are helpful. She talks about the scientific data connecting teenage sex to depression and the long-term consequences of STDs. Many abstinence mockers fail to recognize these things.
The chapter on pragmatism and grit does a good job of pointing out strengths of fathers and mothers and focuses on some things that girls can learn better from their fathers in general.
Also the chapter on Teaching your daughter about God was great. She also cites data for success/progress of teens in households that are spiritually minded. Although a Christian, she backs up her thesis that girls need God/spirituality with scientific data.
The author’s experiences as counselor make this a great book. It doesn’t quote scripture or talk about the Bible but you can see her faith and Biblical principles throughout, backed up with examples, experience, and data.
February 12, 2009 at 1:48 pm
The Ten Secrets are a sermon series in themselves. I heard that James Dobson is writing a book on raising girls to be due out next year.
Great thoughts.
February 12, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Thanks, Brian! Hubby & I have ordered our copy!
February 14, 2009 at 11:23 pm
I did read this post earlier, but just realized that I read it as a parent, and therefore it didn’t apply to me (I’m not a father, I don’t have daughters). However, thinking back to my own childhood, I can see how much impact it had on me to have a strong father. When I was a girl, I believed my father was the strongest in the world. And though I thought that in physical terms, I realize now that his strength in many aspects gave me the perception of his physical strength. I think feeling protected by him was a big part of that. He let me know that without a doubt if I was ever threatened or hurt in anyway he was going to be there to rescue me.
February 18, 2009 at 5:02 pm
I am looking up pragmatism and grit to see if I have it or if I need to get some more! Good stuff. My daughter is a kill and I love her to death. Everyone says that she has me wrapped around her finger. well, yeah, so what!