Position:  Christ’s Vicar on Earth

1.13 billion member church seeking dynamic preacher, well-versed in many languages, to lead a diverse congregation of believers.

Asians, Africans, Latin Americans need not apply.

Benefits:

  • 110 acre property and salary commensurate with experience and education
  • Vehicle with bullet-proof plexiglass bubble
  • Snazzy hats and robes
  • Jewelry

An Ideal Candidate will have these qualities:

  • Must be Single
  • Well grounded in God’s Word, SOUND
  • Participates and attends church functions
  • Works with and supports our youth/campus minister
  • Ability to show empathy and compassion toward others
  • Able to move easily among dignitarys, Kings, and presidents.
  • Willing to teach Bible classes and conduct Bible studies
  • Shows compassion to members in time of grief and despair
  • Must know Latin
  • Willing to preach God’s Word in truth and love in a way that is applicable to everyday life
  • Friendly to all
  • Relates well to youth
  • Motivates self and others
  • Organizes work efficiently
  • Appreciation of art is a plus
  • Makes decisions based on Bible and wisdom
  • Neither too conservative nor too liberal
  • Good public speaking skills
  • Preferably European, but not American
  • Effective in personal evangelism and encouraging to all
  • Never molested young boys
  • Genuine desire to work well with all church employees
  • Desire to be a good citizen of our community
  • Education, training and experience
  • Minister who can hold the line on preaching the Gospel without addition or subtraction
  • Preferable at least 5 years experience as a full time Vicar
  • Experienced is working with families and couples
  • Experienced in developing Gospel teachers and leaders
  • Able to effectively teach as well as preach the Gospel
  • Must be humble and approachable
  • Possess good communication and writing skills. Able to develop own lessons, lesson outlines, etc.
  • Formal Bible training is preferred

All applicants must submit an application to the conclave of Cardinals, Vatican City, Rome, Italy.

About these ads

About Brian

I am a follower of Jesus. I like to read, especially history and psychology. I like scary movies. I enjoy sports.

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