If Obama is elected……!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I haven’t decided if I am going to vote yet, but I probably wouldn’t for Obama because I am pretty much a single-issue voter.  And I really don’t believe Mccain or the Republican Party are going to abolish abortion, so I don’t know that I would vote for him.  But, I have been getting laughs from the paranoid, slippery-slop scare tactics that “Christian organizations” have been using to encourage Christians not to vote for him and wanted to play along.  If you don’t know what I am talking about, read this ridiculous Letter, which exposes Christians as the weak, whiny, power-hungry people we are:  “oh dear, I can’t worship in a comfy church building anymore”  “oh dear, the school systems are not going to raise my kids to be Christians” “oh dear, the government says it’s okay to sin”;  Buck up, people!  If it happens, the church will overcome.  We (Christians) just won’t be in “control” anymore.  So, you see how this ties into my other posts.) I had a dream of the future.  I have seen the future and it is bleak.  This is what is in store for God’s Chosen Nation, if Barak Satan Obama wins the election this year:

  • Fifty percent of all children will be forced to be gay.
  • Christians will be rounded up into sports arenas to be trampled by elephants while the ACLU wagers on how long we will last.
  • Obama will staff his entire cabinet with Muslims, Communists, and Pedophiles.
  • There will only be a state-run church and all will have to attend and sing God Bless America while bowing before statues of Obama.
  • Hispanic people named Jesus will have to have their names legally changed or be punished.
  • It will be against the law to be kind, gentle, peaceful, or loving;  with sentences ranging from 10-25 years depending on the extent of one’s kindness.
  • Obama will reveal his true identity as Mohammed incarnate and wage war against James Dobson, Jerry Falwell, and Pat Robertson.
  • The Democratic Party will change its name to the Democratic Socialist.
  • Russia will invade the USA and Obama will destroy them with the breath of his mouth.
  • All church buildings will be turned into community homosexual brothels
  • Washington, DC will be renamed, “Western Mecca”
  • Obama will marry that crazy guy in Minnesota who claims to have done sex and drugs with him on the White House Lawn.
  • Abortions will be mandatory for all white people until they are in the minority.
  • By the end of his third term, American will be known as a “Muslim Nation” and “Allah Bless America” will be played at all sporting events.
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger will attempt a commando-like coup during the fourth term and will finally wrestle the government back for the Republicans.

Oh, well, I am tired and just wanted to be silly for a while. Can you add any other preposterous consequences of electing Obama, McCain??

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16 thoughts on “If Obama is elected……!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  1. Brian

    ughh, that is bad.
    although I disagree with a lot of his thinking and policies, I almost want him to win just to make the racists angry.

  2. This stuff is funny and this stuff is garbage, yes? When I first read the letter I was outraged. Is this what motivates our “Christian nation” leaders…fear, coercion, innuendo, scare tactics, hypotheticals, what-ifs, etc.? It makes me angry to think about. And then, I consider my own beliefs that have much to do with NOT thinking that Jesus needs any country before, now, or in the future to carry out his spiritual mission. Thank God! I am at peace. This stuff is just goofy…really goofy. And maybe even sad.

  3. amanda

    Thanks, Brian,
    I need to read your blog more often. I actually am a bit calmer after reading your humorous take. The real letter made me literally turn red and shake with rage. I couldn’t decide whether to vomit or cry. When these right-wing evangelical people claim to be Christians while promoting hate, ignorance and fear, I get upset. They make me feel ashamed to share the word Christian. And then I get mad they have such an effect on me. It’s just seeing how many hayseeds out there who actually believe it. I am certain that a)Jesus is nonpartisan and b) Jesus does not promote hate, ignorance and fear. Now write more about a spider – Neil Diamond conspiracy so I can calm down.

  4. I still have too much teenager in me that says, “Try and tell me what I ‘have’ to do, and I’ll do just the opposite, just for spite.” 🙂

    I’m tired of being told who I must vote for.

    PS – I do predict that Obama will shut down all blogging and blogging sites if he becomes president! 🙂

  5. Brian

    Hey amanda, so glad to have you comment. (you don’t know how hard it was to type amanda instead of “hillis”).

    glad to balance out the stupidity with some humor, that was my plan

  6. Don

    Brian,
    I found the letter to be more centered than most.
    It has major elements that are going to happen.
    What do you think is the “ridiculous” part of the letter?

  7. Brian

    aaahhhhh…Don, been waiting for you (not to ambush you) just curious about your thoughts.

    some things I thing are extreme, fear-mongering, some could happen with either guy in white house, some should have not relevance for the disciple of Jesus, but are secular issues (gun control)

    page 5
    #5–Bible no longer preached over radio or TV
    #6, #7–churches forced to perform gay marriage ceremonies and hire gay staff
    page 6–
    #10–gays in military, who cares? why shouldn’t they be? we allow alcoholis, abusers, fornicaters, etc. in armed forces…
    #11–no more see you at the pole, probably happen, but who cares
    #12, #13–who cares, it doesn’t really change anything
    page 7
    #14–should Xns be fighting for lingo to be included in
    pledge, who cares?
    page 8–#18, porn, is TV not going to continue to get worse with Republicans in the house?
    #19–should Christians be fighting for the right to own guns, is that a “God-given right” for his people??
    page 10
    military policy, What is a Christian or Biblical Military policy?? so what..
    plus, iran nuke israel, terrorists attacks could happen no matter who is prez
    page 11
    #26–is socialized health care sinful and anti-biblical??
    page 13
    conservative talk radio shut down?
    page 14
    #33–christian publishers shut down

  8. Brian

    and most of this stuff, is ALL about us being about to do stuff easily. When did God promise that practicing our faith would be easy (renting schools), when did God promise that the schools system have to endorse and make it easy to pray.

    I feel like a lot of this is from Christians who want things to be easy to be “christian”, they are shocked that their “christian nation” idol is falling apart,

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