Monster Ballads: Platinum-A Review

First of all, it’s kinda hard to confess, but apparently many of my favorite songs, type of songs are sappy, hard-rock love songs with wailing guitars and sung by screeching, large-haired voices.  There!  I said it.

Now, on to some awards (based solely on the songs included in the double CD set).

Worst song included: Tie: Headed for a Heartbreak by Winger and Only Time Will Tell by Nelson

  • Winger has already been deleted from my Digital Player, Nelson will be gone soon.

Most Annoying acoustic campfire song: Tie: To Be With You by Mr. Big and More than Words by Extreme

  • Okay, I kinda like both, but two things keep coming into my head.
  • First, the stupid video for Be With You with the revolving camera, which preceded the “That 70s Show” gimmick by a few years.
  • More than Words is a beautifully played and sung song that can be summed up by an awful, sinful, manipulative lie, “if you loved me, you would have sex with me.”  I have always despised that and now that I have a daughter who will be a teenage in 10 years, it’s worse.
  • Winner: To Be With You for being more innocent and less sinful

Best High Wail:  Sebastian Bach of Skid Row for I Remember You

  • Between 18 and Life and this song, Skid Row contributed a lot to 80s Hard Rock
  • Last Summer a local rock station in NJ had a contest where Sebastian Bach would come and perform at your house.  That says a lot, right there.

Worst High Wail:  The guy from Steelheart, I’ll Never Let You Go

  • I like it but skip it often.  I am unable to listen to it a lot.

Most Depressing Song: Tie: House of Pain or Don’t Close Your Eyes

  • House of Pain is about Dead-beat dads, the other one about suicide.
  • the Pathos is addictive
  • Winner: House of Pain because of more universal appeal, more have been affected by absent dads than suicide

Worst Voice: Fly High Michelle, Nuff Z’nuff

  • Nasally. Wish someone else had sung this one.  Otherwise a great song.

Most Beautiful Acoustic:  Tough Choice

  • Silent Lucidity by Queensryche
  • Intro to Love Song by Telsa
  • When the Children Cry by White Lion

Best Song with Whistling and Socio-Historicial Significance: Winds of Change by Scorpions

  • Great Song that I love every time.
  • Has something to do with the fall of the Berlin Wall and Glasnost

Best Slow Guitar Solo: Ballad of Jayne by L.A. Guns

Sappiest Sentiment: Another Tough Choice

  • When I see you Smile by Bad English
  • Nevermind, 32-Way Tie

Top Five Songs (after repeated listening):

  1. Every Rose Has its Thorns by Poison
  2. Love Song by Telsa
  3. Is This Love? by Whitesnake
  4. Heaven by Warrant
  5. Tie: The Flame by Cheap Trick and I Remember You by Skid Row
  6. Honorable MentionsDon’t Know what You Got Til It’s Gone by Cinderella, Silent Lucidity by Queensryche, I’ll See You in My Dreams by Giant
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8 thoughts on “Monster Ballads: Platinum-A Review

  1. wjcsydney

    The only song I have even heard of is “Is this love” by Whitesnake. We have very different taste in music (think it’s a generational thing.. I’m old lol)

  2. Great stuff! Nothing wrong with admitting you like power ballads. They are the anthems of rock.

    The greatest, though wasn’t on this CD set.

    It’s Dream On…the original, and still the best

  3. I love most of those songs including Extreme’s More than Words. (Is that really a line from the song that you included?)

    Favorite video: Anything Whitesnake.

    I removed Winger and Nelson from my iPod years ago. But I have a ton of Scorpion songs and I love 18 and Life by Skid Row

  4. Brian

    wendy, i was thinking that last time when you commented but didn’t want to say anything. 🙂

    adam,
    dream is great, i would say not only a different decade, but a higher category as well. many of these bands are one-hit wonders or had two decent albums at best.

    trey,
    that line isn’t in the song, but I really think the song is saying that in a different way. Anyone else notice that??

  5. Ellen

    I’ve always thought the subtext of More Than Words was “put out or shut up.” That being said, I love the song. 🙂

    Monster ballads are the soundtrack of my high school career.

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