(Some thoughts on Satire as a teaching method:especially the comments)
The churches of Christ need a Bible that accurately reflects our rich tradition, doctrine, and practice.
Consider these alterations to reflect who we really are:
Let’s start by removing large portions of the Old Testament, since it was nailed to the Cross anyway.
Genesis can stay, and the first half of Exodus. Leviticus is out except for Chapter 10 (Nadab and Abihu). Numbers and Deuteronomy are gone. Let’s add Leviticus 10 to Exodus and call that one book.
The Historical books can stay because they are easy to study and David rocks, except Kings and Chronicles are redundant. So, we will combine them to 1 and 2 Kingicles.
Ruth and Esther are out because they emphasize women too much. And Esther doesn’t even mention God.
Psalms and Proverbs can stay, but Ecclesiastes (too weird) and Song of Solomon (may be about sex) are definitely out.
Isaiah is in and Jeremiah can stay solely because of 6:16 (seek the old paths). No one reads Lamentations, so it’s out.
Only chapter 37 from Ezekiel can remain because it makes a great “restoration” sermon.” The rest of the book might give fuel to pre-millennial doctrines. It will be included in Jeremiah.
The minor prophets can be condensed down to one book that contains all the Messianic prophecies and all verses that emphasize the Meanness of God.
On to the New Testament, which is, of course, our sole basis for faith and practice.
Since John says waaay too much about the Holy Spirit and four is kinda overkill anyway, and Luke seems to also emphasize the Holy Spirit and women! Let’s just keep the first two: Matthew and Mark.
Acts is so important, that it should actually be repeated. So, three copies in every Bible.
Romans is also good, except for chapters 9-11, which should be removed.
The rest of Paul’s writings are good and can remain, except for Philemon, which doesn’t say much about the church or baptism.
Hebrews through 1 Peter are in. 1 John can stay, but what’s the point of 2 and 3 John?
Jude stays because it teaches us to contend for the Faith! (ty, NG)
Revelation is definitely too weird and used by the denominations to teach false millennial doctrines so it must be removed.
At this point, we are down to 37 book. We definitely want to always have 66 books in our Bible, so here is a solution.
At the end of the OT, we will add the Gospel Advocate Commentary Series, except for ones written by David Lipscomb who was a pacifist and against slavery, which sounds like a socialist to me.
Also, add J.W. McGarvey’s Commentary on Acts (but only the original one because it’s better than the new one) and Moses Lard’s Commentary on Romans.
That gives us 13 more books once we exclude Lipscomb. Up to 48.
Since we took out Ezekiel and Revelation for millennial purposes, we can add Foy E. Wallaces’ “God’s Prophetic Word” to refute any false teachings that might remain.
Two more books that must be a part of the Church of Christ Canon are Guy N. Woods “Questions and Answers, vol. 1 and 2.”
We definitely need something from our founder Alexander Campbell, so “Christianity Restored” and “The Christian System” are must-haves.
Another addition, from more recent leaders, “The Bible makes Christians Only and the Only Christians by Thomas B. Warren.
C.R. Nichols 6-volume “Sound Doctrine” also deserves a spot here.
Now we are are at 60. Almost there.
Shall we include some tracts in our Canon, to help new believers understand certain doctrines that they may not understand with the Bible alone? I think so!
“The Sin of Social Drinking”
“Dancing: The Slippery Slope to Prostitution” (ty, TM)
“Decently and In Order: Everything God Meant to Say about our Worship Assembly”
‘Hear, Believe, Repent, Confess, Be Baptized: Everything you need to Know about Salvation in 5 sentences”
An egregious oversight: N.B. Hardeman’s Tabernacle Sermons must be included. We shall remove 2 Corinthians and the Thessalonian letters.
That’s enough tracts. Now finally, the final two additions for our 66-volume Church of Christ Bible, is….
“Behold the Pattern” by Goebel Music
“Why I am a Member of the Church of Christ” by Leroy Brownlow.
Here is your new Table of Contents:
Table of Contents
The Old Testament
Exodus (Lev 10)
Jeremiah (Ezekiel 37)
Minor Prophets: Greatest Hits
McGarvey on Acts
Moses Lard on Romans
“God’s Prophetic Word” by Foy E. Wallace
“Q&A, vol 1” by Guy N. Woods
“Q&A, vol 2” by Guy N. Woods
“Christian System” By Campbell
“Christianity Restored” by Campbell
“The Bible Makes Christians only and the Only Christians” by Thomas B. Warren
Sound Doctrine 1 by Nichols
Sound Doctrine 2 by Nichols
Sound Doctrine 3 by Nichols
Sound Doctrine 4 by Nichols
Sound Doctrine 5 by Nichols
Sound Doctrine 6 by Nichols
The New Testament
Tract: Dancing: The Slippery Slope to Prostitution
Tract: Sin of Social Drinking
Tabernacle Sermons vol 1
Tabernacle Sermons vol 2
Tabernacle Sermons vol 3
Tract: Decently and in Order
Tract: H, B, R, C, Baptism
“Behold the Pattern” by Goebel Music
“Why I am a Member of the Church of Christ” by Leroy Brownlow