Okay ChristAmericans, here’s the plan:
- We must get the National Day of Prayer™ proclaimed a Federal Holyday. Sure it was instituted by congress, but we still have to go to work and the mail runs. That’s not a real holiday. So, this means protests, marches, and votes. Our current regime isn’t gonna do it unless it’s a Muslim day of Prayer, so we got work to do.
- I also recommend that we all stay home from work and school on this day in protest.
- We need some conservative Christian dish to become the official meal for National Day of Prayer™. Like Thanksgiving has Turkey and Dressing, etc. I was thinking Deviled Eggs or some kind of casserole.
- Please add your suggestions in the comment section.
- We need someone to be in of charge of merchandising. It has to be someone who will not sleep until the aisles of Wal-Mart are full of NDoP™ T-shirts, books, bracelets, paper plates, pencils, staplers, bathroom wall art, salt/pepper shakers, jock itch cream, paper clip holders, ballcaps, snuggies, kleenex boxes, mousepads, nasal spray, bumper stickers, The Official National Day of Prayer™ Study Bible™, etc. as soon as the Easter junk is removed.
- We must recognize Mother’s Day and Cinco de Mayo as our greatest competition and do all that we can to diminish these days so that the National Day of Prayer™ can receive its rightful place. We can’t have foreigners and women taking attention away from prayer and the USA.
- Pray that God will strike those judges and atheists fighting the constitutionality of NDoP™ with at least hemorrhoids, if not death. We don’t need people like that in Heaven, anyway.
- Lastly, let’s all pray really hard for the National Day of Prayer™ so that it can be a great one.
- One More IMPORTANT Thing: Don’t forget to donate. Prayer is not enough. We must give, as well. How can we pray without a National Task Force organizing everything for us?
(Disclaimer: The Blogprophet (aka Brian) is not against prayer or a National Day of Prayer™. He is just taking a moment to satirize some perceived follies of American Christians concerning how we often do things and think about our place in society. Thank you for your patience and understanding.)
(Disclaimer, part 2: I do hope you pray Thursday. I hope you pray for our country and our leaders. If you pray more that day than usual, that’s even better)
(Disclaimer, part 3: If you have reached this far and still have a problem, please get a sense of humor.)