Welcome to the Slippery Slope Church of Christ

Here at the Slippery Slope Church of Christ (located just outside of Slippery Slope, Texas) we believe in being sober and vigilant.

We don’t allow Root Beer at our potlucks because…..well, you never know.

We only use the bottle of Welch’s Grape Juice for one Sunday, and then we throw it out before it has a chance to ferment on us.  You never know, the electricity might fail and the fridge might go out.

We have put a large stamp, “NOT APPROPRIATE for WORSHIP” on many songs in our hymnal.  You know those songs that make you tap your feet or fingers.  Well, that might lead to clapping, dancing, and sooner or later…..in come the instruments and the belly dancers!!

We have decided that the preacher should just read straight from the Bible without any comments.  That way, we don’t have to worry about him saying or believing anything wrong.  It’s much safer this way.

We have also started the practice of silent, public prayers.  We just can’t take the chance of someone praying something that isn’t scriptural.  You never know what he might say.  So, for now, a brother stands before us and prays silently to God.  If he messes up, that’s between him and God and the rest of us are safe from stumbling.

We have a nice lock on our door.  The Bible says so much about false teachers coming in and those wolves in sheep’s clothing, that we only allow those of us who have been here from the beginning to enter the building.  We must protect ourselves from error!

I would tell you to come and visit but we will probably close down sometime within the year.  You know how it is, we can’t risk anything.

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9 thoughts on “Welcome to the Slippery Slope Church of Christ

  1. brian

    Brian,
    I can’t believe you would be so immature as to attack the Lord’s Bride in such a shameful way. How dare ye? Who do you think you are? LIBERAL BRIDE BASHER!!!!

    AGHGHAHGHAHGAGAGHG

    (I kinda miss all my friends who disagreed and misunderstood my satire. I guess they quit reading and/or commenting)

    signed,
    blogprophet

  2. brian

    hahah,
    I think it is going to double as a mental institution and a retirement home for preachers. you know…it makes sense.

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