Assimilate or Leave

There are too many immigrants who come to America but really don’t want to be Americans.  They want to keep their foreign language and culture.  Why even come if you don’t want to be a true, 100% American?

Just consider how people name their children.  What kind of bizarre names are these?  They surely aren’t good ol’ USA names.

I don’t know how many Declans, Aidans, Liams, and Kierans are at my kid’s school.  If these parents don’t want to be American and give their kids good American names like Brian, or Conor, or Sean, maybe they should just go back across the ocean.

We must to take back America from these Druid-worshipping, skirt-wearing America-Haters!!!!!!!!

What is our country coming to? Are you with me??

God Bless America and Americans!!


6 thoughts on “Assimilate or Leave

  1. Dede Rothermel

    You seem to use the tags at the bottom of the post as a kind of disclaimer. If people get really upset with what you have to say, they just have to read through “humor, silly, joking,…” to realize that you really love immigrants and are not anti Irish people 🙂 Well done!

  2. brian

    that I do, obvious disclaimers take all the fun out of it.

    and what kind of name is Dede, anyway?

    (satire leads to much confusion, I am cutting back but not giving up on it completely. I am anti-xenophobia, though.)

  3. Dede Rothermel

    Its not my actual name 🙂 I am actually Danielle Deborah Rothermel (which is also the initials of an amazingly awesome dancing video game) but Dede is my initials plus some vowels to make it a more normal nickname. Apparently my mom liked Dede whereas my dad still refers to me as D.D. in emails because he claims that it is my proper nickname, and they both felt strongly that I needed to go by Danielle after I graduated from middle school. Of course, it didnt quite work, so half of my high school calls me Danielle and the other half calls me Dede… but everyone from my old church and from camp calls me Dede and everyone in Rhode Island calls me Danielle.

    I bet you didnt expect such an involved (and *incredibly* interesting) answer… I am mildly sleep deprived from exams so I tend to ramble.

  4. Agreed.

    In the words of Stephen Colbert:

    “My grandfather didn’t travel 4,000 miles across the Atlantic Ocean to watch this country be overrun by immigrants.”

  5. Adam Gonnerman

    “Brian, or Conor, or Sean”? Those are OUT THERE. Should be nice, salt-of-the-earth names like John, Robert or Charles.

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