Twilight: A Review

(I decided to summarize and review the sensation “Twilight” for those who might be interested.  I have never seen the movie or read the books but ignorance has never stopped me or anyone else from blogging.)

Twilight has become a big moneymaker and huge part of American pop culture.  At the center is a pale, goth girl named Hermione, who is apparently kinda loose and has multiple boyfriends.

She has one boyfriend who likes to suck on girls necks.  Sounds like most teenage boys.  Her other guy grows lots of hair in strange places unexpectedly.  Hey, been there.  Done that. Many years ago.  She has a third boy who has a large zit on his forehead in the shape of the letter “N” and wears a dress.  It’s really typical John Hughes teen angst, but set in the middle ages.

These three part-time boyfriends go on a journey with an elf and a dwarf to save her from a dragon.  They laugh and joke (mostly bathroom humor) along the way and become friends.  Then after saving her, she chooses one of them by handing the boy a rose.

This kind of fare doesn’t really interest me, but hey, if you want to check it out, go for it.

Declaration of Dependence

I, Brian Nicklaus, being of sin-marred mind and ever-wasting-away body, hereby declare my total dependence on God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit to make it through each day in this broken world.

I make it known that rebellion is at my core, and only through constant help of the Spirit can I resist the urge to live for myself and put to death the deeds of the body.

I declare that I need God every hour of every day.  I admit that the longer I go without thinking of Him, the weaker I get.

I hereby make it known that I don’t trust myself and accept full responsibility for my lack of power, focus, and ability to please God without His grace, mercy and power.

I cling to the cross not only for my salvation, but also my daily strength, and the grace to grow in holiness, being conformed to the image of Jesus more and more.  Less of Self, More of thee until some day I reach None of Self, and All of Thee.

Pitchers, Catchers & Predictions

Ahhh….baseball.  Love it!  Here are my feeble predictions for the 2011 season.

National League

West–Colorado

Central–Cincinnati

East–Phillies

Wild Card–Brewers

Surprise Teams (no playoffs but great improvement):  Arizona, Florida

MVP–Tulowitzki

Cy Young–Cliff Lee

American League

West–Oakland

Central–Detroit

East–Boston

Wild Card–Texas

Surprise Team (no playoffs but great improvement)–Toronto, Oakland

MVP–Miggy Cabrera

Cy Young–Jered Weaver

“Snow Fatigue”

I am waiting for “snow fatigue” to be included in the DSM-IV so I can collect disability.

“Snow fatigue” is Cabin Fever’s lesser know cousin.  The more the news people talk about it, the more I want to punch them in the face.  Ironically, I would blame “snow fatigue” for the outburst.

Only some icy slush to mess with today but we still have plenty of snow on the ground from our December 26th blizzard that left 24 inches/2 feet and the weekly storms that followed.  I think they should start giving these storms names like hurricanes, except we should only give them ugly names.

I am trying to recall the joy and excitement of that 24 inches of snow back in December, but nothing is coming to me.

We have about 4 feet of snow accumulated in our yard from each of the “snow events” since that day-after-Christmas blast.  If you dig out there you should find strata like in the Grand Canyon.  There were a couple of 3-6 inch snows but then we had one that was a foot and last week we got over 15 inches.  All stacked up and shrunk.

What’s really crazy are the mounds of snow left by the plows.  At each intersection in our town, and pulling out of drives, you can’t see very well because of 4-5 feet high mounds of snow blocking the view.  Large stores like Wal-Mart, etc. have huge mounds of dirty snow two stories high. If you squint, you can pretend you are in the Himalayans.

Parking spaces are hard to find because the public lots have mounds in a few spots and the streets have too much snow.  Our town finally plowed some snow along the main streets so you could park without blocking traffic.  Many streets are practically single lane, which leads to more than a few lost sideview mirrors.

We have canceled one Sunday evening service, last Wednesday’s Bible Study and tonight doesn’t look good.

Then there’s the shoveling.  The plowing.  The blowing of snow.  The spreading of rock salt.  Then starting all over again each week.  I usually come in drenched with sweat although I have learned not to overdress.  Then I shower, but usually have to go back out at least a second time.  I have to alternate gloves because they get so wet.

At least I am getting some exercise.

I used to love snow.  Now…not so much.

Ready for the bugs, allergies, and mowing of Spring to get here.  I am ready to move on.