“Don’t Call it a Comeback!”

I could see it taking place over a few hours or days when veteran rapper LL Cool J sat down with his Hip-Hop thesaurus, Gangster Rhyming dictionary, and an awesome hook in his head.

I can’t quite decide though, whether he was very angry the entire time, or cracking himself up as he composed a classic:

“Mama said knock you out”

My proposal: Never in the history of music has so much condensed (possibly faux) anger and badassery been combined with so much hilarity.

I also wonder if he still performs this.

Let’s go back to 1990 and consider some examples:

Don’t call it a comeback               
(wikipedia says this song was a response to critics of ballads on his previous albums)
I been here for years

Rockin’ my peers
Puttin’ suckers in fear 
(obligatory reference to “suckers”, see also, “suckas”)

lyrics that’ll make you call the cops
(I would never call the cops on you, LL)

Why do you rip with me, the maniac psycho
and when I pull out my jammy, get ready cuz it might go BLOW!
(I just love the maniac psycho part, redundant? nah)
How ya like me now?
(Oh, I like you, Cool J)

Oh, English filled my mind and I came up with this funky rhyme
(funky indeed, poet)

Shotgun blasts are heard
When I rip and kill at will
The man of the hour, tower of power
I’ll devour
I’m gonna tie you up and let you understand
That I’m not your average man
you bad, Mr Smith, you bad)

Destruction, terror and mayhem
Pass me a sissy soul sucker …. I’ll slay him
(admittedly unsure of these lyrics, but good ones nonetheless)

And the coup de grace is marvelous as the song ends with:

I think I’m gonna bomb a town
(really, can you imagine this lyric in the post 9/11 world? yeah, prob)

Don’t you never, ever Pull my lever
(OKAY!  I won’t!)

‘Cause I’ll explode
(oh, so that’s why)

And my nine is easy to load
(I don’t own a .9 millimeter but I think you just shove the clip into the handle)

I gotta thank God
‘Cause he gave me the strength to rock……Hard


“Gangsta boogie” (500x)  

There you have it:  cops, guns, anger, slaying suckas, destruction, terror and mayhem.  What else could you ask for?


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