Silence Retreat-Day 6

I am learning something about fashion.  Monks have “Dress” robes for worship and special occasions, work robes for daily life and then “weekend-laying-around-the house-drinking beer-watching-TV” robes. Who knew?

The swimming robes are obviously one-piece and not real flattering.

On another fashion note, there seems to be some division among this group.  About half of them wear Tevas and the other half wear Birkenstocks.  Definitely some theological differences manifesting in footwear.

(First of all, these posts are jokes.  Secondly, they were scheduled before I left town, so I cannot reply or approve comments.  If your sense of humor can’t handle weird stuff, why are you here?)

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Silence Retreat-Day 5

Wow.  This is getting hard!

Can’t remember the last time I went this long without TV, internet, Facebook, and Twitter, or talking to human beings.

I am trying to imagine what Alex Baze and Weird Al might be tweeting right now.

Have they selected a new Pope yet?  Have there been anymore storms?  Is there any Kardashian or Beyonce news?????

My mind is playing tricks on me after not talking and not enjoying media of any kind for  days.

I hate that I am missing the new episodes of Alf and MASH.

I hope my twins and our pet rabbit are okay back home. and what’s-her-name….

Did the Cubs really win the NL pennant or was that a hallucination? Maybe it was a prophetic vision……

Is it bad that I named my ink pens and created backstories for all 8 of them?

Did Benedict and Loyola and Randy have these problems?

(First of all, these posts are jokes.  Secondly, they were scheduled before I left town, so I cannot reply or approve comments.  If your sense of humor can’t handle weird stuff, why are you here?)

Silence Retreat-Day 4

Apparently, talking to yourself aloud is not even allowed.  It must have been in the fine print.

Of course, being raised Church of Christ means I am not too familiar with these types of Spirituality and Disciplines.

The core Spiritual Disciplines of Churches of Christ are:

  • Bible Study
  • Not Sinning
  • Judging Others
  • Bible Study
  • Worshipping without Instruments

So, I didn’t realize how often I talk to myself.  Being quiet is even tough for this Introvert.  I prayed through the local white pages yesterday, then went for a walk.  If I can find a secluded place on the grounds, I can talk to myself more. It is not appreciated in the dining hall or hallways.

Also, whistling and humming is discouraged.  Probably because the monks have never heard Metallica whistled before.

(First of all, these posts are jokes.  Secondly, they were scheduled before I left town, so I cannot reply or approve comments.  If your sense of humor can’t handle weird stuff, why are you here?)

Silence Retreat-Day 3

There are some really hot-looking nuns here.  I was surprised.  I mean, probably not attractive enough to make it into one of the “Babes of St. Benedict’s” calenders to raise money for Catholic Charities, but impressive.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are a couple who seem to have taken a Vow of Ugly.

You know those people who talk and talk and talk on the phone and it’s hard to even say a word.  There’s a guy here like that.  Except we aren’t supposed to talk so he is constantly make hand gestures and facial expressions.  Very annoying.

(First of all, these posts are jokes.  Secondly, they were scheduled before I left town, so I cannot reply or approve comments.  If your sense of humor can’t handle weird stuff, it’s probably too late.)

Silence Retreat-Day 2

Well, I organized my phobias and neuroses alphabetically and chronologically.  I also prayed for all of my fantasy baseball teams, mentioning each player by name.  That took most of the day yesterday.

Met with my spiritual adviser this morning.  We had a healthy discussion about who was more talented:  Pearl Jam or Nirvana.  I told him that I have learned to appreciate Pearl Jam’s rhythm a lot more in recent years, but that Cobain’s talent and influence have not been overhyped because of his premature death.  We both agree that Mike McCready is uber-talented.

(First of all, these posts are jokes.  Secondly, they were scheduled before I left town, so I cannot reply or approve comments.  If your sense of humor can’t handle weird stuff, feel free to stay away this week.)