“Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.” Step 8 of A.A
“amazing grace” is not a way to avoid honest human relationships, but to redo them–but now gracefully–for the liberation of both sides.
All healers are wounded healers. (Nouwen)
Knowing that we were not taught nonviolent communication at the personal level, is it any surprise that we did not have the skills at the national, cultural, or church levels?
A.A. is the only group I know that is willing and honest enough to just tell people up front, “You are damn selfish!” Or, “Until you get beyond your massive narcissism you are never going to grow up.”
It is a self-serving concern to alleviate just your own guilt; it is a loving question to say, “How can I free others from theirs?”
Until religion becomes flesh, it is merely Platonic idealism instead of Jesus radicalism.
To offer an apology in a way that can actually heal the other takes wisdom and respect for the other.