Greatest Twits. #narcissism #ICYMI

Just because it’s my blog and for fun, here are some of my personal favorite tweets from the last few months.  (context in parenthesis when necessary)

October

I’ve yet to figure out if my goldendoodle is a narcissist, a full-fledged psychopath, or simply an extrovert
So, it’s just a matter of time until Brittany Spears and Miley Cyrus are dating…on a Reality TV show, right? We’re like 14-18 months away

#DearCongress , Not really surprised, I had already lost faith in you when you allowed an American remake of #Oldboy

Someday, I hope to have the kind of loving relationship with my wife, that she has with our goldendoodle. #puppylove

September

Does anyone else picture Bobcat Goldthwaite when you hear Eddie Vedder sing? Or just really miss Bobcat Goldthwaite? (before I saw him in the Robin Williams Snickers Commercial)

So, there’s a new show called “dads” about annoying/overbearing dads, and a new show called “moms” about annoying/overbearing moms? #sigh

Newschannel 5 anchorwoman dressed like she graduated from Prof Xavier’s School for Gifted Mutants #nashville (funky leather)

“Keep it real, bro.” -Carl Rogers

Buying gas in 2013 is like gambling. Do I fill up in case it jumps 20 cents or only put in $5, hoping it drops. #Syria

August

some days I feel like an artist trapped in a scientist’s brain & other days I just put Stevie Ray Vaughn’s “Little Wing” on repeat & all is okay

My wife just made me kill a spider instead of doing it for me #toughlove

Because of my growing hatred of mosquitos, I may have to change my long-held position on spiders. #enemyofmyenemyismyfriend

HEY, #Falloutboy, keep your stupid songs out of my dark/business. Thank you.

When I listen to “Hail to the King” by #AvengedSevenfold, I pretend they are a #Christian rock band, at least during the chorus

My neighbors are going to think I am a devoted Catholic: my bug checking/swatting routine closely resembles the “sign of the cross”

I put “exercise” in my daily planner, but added an “?” to give myself an out.

Why do we have a marriage problem in this country? People freak out about a 2-yr #commitment to THEIR PHONE!!

Why does so much of current rock sound like Nine Inch Nails shattered into a 100 tiny pieces?

Had a great time at a family reunion today. Of course, it wasn’t my family, so there’s that

My kids have been constantly sharpening pencils on electric sharpener; thinking about how old I would be when I got out of prison…

you can follow, ya know, if you want to: @briannicklaus

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