Had cereal and cheese danish for dinner. Because I care about my body. Mainly the mouth/tongue/stomache part of my body.
Going up to a stranger who has an eye-patch and speaking “pirate” is apparently not “appropriate”
Had a Dr Pepper infused coffee yesterday. Let’s just say next time I would prefer them sequentially instead of concurrently
Confession: I was totally thinking about my
#FantasyFootball team while my daughter was explaining a new variation to Uno she created
If the terrorists have taken down
#Facebook , I may become pro-terrorists
Don’t judge me for eating BBQ chips at 9am, I’ve been awake for 3 hours, this is brunch
I love to eat/drink anything Mango flavored except an actual mango
Do you give Sonic carhops a tip? I mean, on roller skates, with physics or something, they barely have to work…
Fancy touch-screen soda machines are all fine & good until you get an error prompt and have to call the GeekSquad to get a Vanilla Dr Pepper
If anyone knows how to get a 10yo to stop talking about Legos, Star Wars, Lego Star Wars, and Lego Star Wars video games, pls text!!
A non-conformist is like a laid-back, apathetic rebel
If you are tempted to cuss because of tiny cardboard boxes, you might be a grocery stocker
Here! *tosses man card. I am uber-stoked about the Jamie Foxx/Cameron Diaz
Has an uglier man had sex with more women than Mick Jagger? And can we create a quotient?
If we have muffin tops for sale, why not Cinnamon Roll Hearts?
May I never have to choose between the middle-aged lady at work who calls me “doll” and the older lady at work who calls me “baby”