I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause..

…then mom and dad were divorced within 4 months.

Santa was an okay Step-Dad. He did lay around the house alot drinking egg nogg the 363 or so days he didn’t work but I always got good presents for Christmas.

The worst part was that he kept custody of all the elves, all the step-siblings were annoying.

The other worst part was the time Dad and Ms. Claus spent a weekend together in Vegas, pretty much for revenge.

Advertisements

Top 10 Worst Christmas Songs (Revised)

Working in retail has taught me many things…..one of them is:  there are a LOT of really bad Christmas songs out there.

Whether it’s inane lyrics, miserable remakes of classics, or depressing themes, we need to get rid of a few thousand tunes.

Here’s my list of the worst in descending order:

10.  Christmas Shoes: depressing, schmaltzy, emotionally manipulative.  Don’t like it. But I don’t like the banter on K-Love and most Christian radio either. And I don’t watch many Hallmark/Lifetime/Ion Holiday movies either.

9 Christmas is the time to say “I love you”: Billy Squier?  Really? Billy Corgan also has a holiday tune.  I am waiting for the all-satanist Christmas album staring Judas Priest and Marilyn Manson singing about baby Jesus. Listen, just because you are a recording artist does NOT mean you should record a Christmas song/album. Do we want Slipknot singing “Little Drummer Boy?” An Avenged Sevenfold version of “Mary, Did You Know?” I think not.

8. Little St Nick by the Beach Boys: Love the Beach Boys but they don’t get a free pass.  “Christmas comes each time this year….” That’s a lyric someone actually wrote.  It sounds like every other song they sang. Remakes of this are even worse.

7. Any version of “All I want for Christmas is You” that doesn’t involve Mariah Carey: Okay, not a huge Mariah fan but this is the only version I can handle and hearing it more than 2 in a day is too much.  Let’s stop recording this, please!

6. 99.9% of Christmas songs written and recorded after 1970.  See, I am not a Grinch, it’s just I have music taste. Nat King Cole? Bing Crosby? Brenda Lee?  Yes, Yes, Yes! We just don’t need any more.

5.  “Mele Kalikimaka (The Hawaiian Christmas Song)” No offense to Hawaii.

4.  Do they know it’s Christmas time at all? Catchy 80s music but too depressing. Grateful for all the people fed and helped though.  If this were a list of top Philanthropic Christmas Songs it would be in the top 5.

3. I knew there were at least 10.  Santa Forever featuring Mia Crosby deserves to be on the list. Maybe it’s not terrible, just repetitive.  And when you hear it over and over it’s rough.

2. Last Christmas.  WHAM/George Michael.  What a sad song. Someone needs to give this young man some dating advice.  Maybe you shouldn’t give your heart away so freely to some skank. And you are going to try again this year?!?!  Whoah! Slow Down.  Be careful!  Maybe you could just give her an iTunes gift card first and see how it goes.  Ease your way through Valentine’s Day with some chocolates.  Save your heart until you know her better, and are more certain she will reciprocate. (best if read in Mitch Hedberg voice)

1.  This last one hurts me, but “Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney.  Maybe if it had been written by Melissa McCarthy this would have been acceptable.  Sir Paul has given us so much music magic and then this. It’s hard for me to even comprehend how this could have come from a Beatle.  I expect more even from Ringo. I prefer to believe it was written by Linda and he felt sorry for her and claimed it was his own creation just so it might be recorded and be accepted.  But even a pop icon doesn’t get a free pass for this repetitive, psychosis-inducing ditty.

Humiliation and Humility

Which act of Humility impresses or affects you the most?

The Birth of Christ and its circumstances or His Death on the Cross?

For my Conservative Church of Christ Brethren on this Day of Thanksgiving

I just have some questions and I am not trying to be snarky or rude.

Why is it okay to set aside one day a year to focus on Gratitude and Thanksgiving?

Shouldn’t we be doing this every day?  We have no Biblical Authority for doing so on one day.

This day has its origins in history and human traditions and not the Word of God, which should be the basis for everything we say and do.

The original events were observed by Anglican Separatists and animists and the holiday itself was made official by a US President.

This day is something that the “denominational” world and even unbelievers participate in.  Is it okay for us to follow their example?

I am not looking for a fight (or even a discussion, comments or closed) but whatever response you might give for justifying the celebration of Thanksgiving, just go ahead and apply that to celebrating the birth of Jesus. That’s my point.

Where is the Biblical Authority for this day?