I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause..

…then mom and dad were divorced within 4 months.

Santa was an okay Step-Dad. He did lay around the house alot drinking egg nogg the 363 or so days he didn’t work but I always got good presents for Christmas.

The worst part was that he kept custody of all the elves, all the step-siblings were annoying.

The other worst part was the time Dad and Ms. Claus spent a weekend together in Vegas, pretty much for revenge.

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Top 10 Worst Christmas Songs (Revised)

Working in retail has taught me many things…..one of them is:  there are a LOT of really bad Christmas songs out there.

Whether it’s inane lyrics, miserable remakes of classics, or depressing themes, we need to get rid of a few thousand tunes.

Here’s my list of the worst in descending order:

10.  Christmas Shoes: depressing, schmaltzy, emotionally manipulative.  Don’t like it. But I don’t like the banter on K-Love and most Christian radio either. And I don’t watch many Hallmark/Lifetime/Ion Holiday movies either.

9 Christmas is the time to say “I love you”: Billy Squier?  Really? Billy Corgan also has a holiday tune.  I am waiting for the all-satanist Christmas album staring Judas Priest and Marilyn Manson singing about baby Jesus. Listen, just because you are a recording artist does NOT mean you should record a Christmas song/album. Do we want Slipknot singing “Little Drummer Boy?” An Avenged Sevenfold version of “Mary, Did You Know?” I think not.

8. Little St Nick by the Beach Boys: Love the Beach Boys but they don’t get a free pass.  “Christmas comes each time this year….” That’s a lyric someone actually wrote.  It sounds like every other song they sang. Remakes of this are even worse.

7. Any version of “All I want for Christmas is You” that doesn’t involve Mariah Carey: Okay, not a huge Mariah fan but this is the only version I can handle and hearing it more than 2 in a day is too much.  Let’s stop recording this, please!

6. 99.9% of Christmas songs written and recorded after 1970.  See, I am not a Grinch, it’s just I have music taste. Nat King Cole? Bing Crosby? Brenda Lee?  Yes, Yes, Yes! We just don’t need any more.

5.  “Mele Kalikimaka (The Hawaiian Christmas Song)” No offense to Hawaii.

4.  Do they know it’s Christmas time at all? Catchy 80s music but too depressing. Grateful for all the people fed and helped though.  If this were a list of top Philanthropic Christmas Songs it would be in the top 5.

3. I knew there were at least 10.  Santa Forever featuring Mia Crosby deserves to be on the list. Maybe it’s not terrible, just repetitive.  And when you hear it over and over it’s rough.

2. Last Christmas.  WHAM/George Michael.  What a sad song. Someone needs to give this young man some dating advice.  Maybe you shouldn’t give your heart away so freely to some skank. And you are going to try again this year?!?!  Whoah! Slow Down.  Be careful!  Maybe you could just give her an iTunes gift card first and see how it goes.  Ease your way through Valentine’s Day with some chocolates.  Save your heart until you know her better, and are more certain she will reciprocate. (best if read in Mitch Hedberg voice)

1.  This last one hurts me, but “Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney.  Maybe if it had been written by Melissa McCarthy this would have been acceptable.  Sir Paul has given us so much music magic and then this. It’s hard for me to even comprehend how this could have come from a Beatle.  I expect more even from Ringo. I prefer to believe it was written by Linda and he felt sorry for her and claimed it was his own creation just so it might be recorded and be accepted.  But even a pop icon doesn’t get a free pass for this repetitive, psychosis-inducing ditty.

For my Conservative Church of Christ Brethren on this Day of Thanksgiving

I just have some questions and I am not trying to be snarky or rude.

Why is it okay to set aside one day a year to focus on Gratitude and Thanksgiving?

Shouldn’t we be doing this every day?  We have no Biblical Authority for doing so on one day.

This day has its origins in history and human traditions and not the Word of God, which should be the basis for everything we say and do.

The original events were observed by Anglican Separatists and animists and the holiday itself was made official by a US President.

This day is something that the “denominational” world and even unbelievers participate in.  Is it okay for us to follow their example?

I am not looking for a fight (or even a discussion, comments or closed) but whatever response you might give for justifying the celebration of Thanksgiving, just go ahead and apply that to celebrating the birth of Jesus. That’s my point.

Where is the Biblical Authority for this day?

The Argument against the “Roman Superstition”*

I took the expression “Roman superstition” from an article by Alexander Campbell, one of the most influential leaders among churches of Christ in the 19th century.  Notice that while referring to the date as the “Roman superstition,” he still felt comfortable to print an article about the birth of Jesus.  He recognized it as a tradition, yet not a sinful one.  I wish that mentality had flourished among churches of Christ.

If anyone can find a better argument against celebrating the birth of Jesus while others are doing it, let me know.  I am replying to what I could find.

The following is from a somewhat recent article (Nov 2009) from the Gospel Advocate, a publication out of Nashville, TN, that has a storied history among churches of Christ since 1855.  We receive copies thanks to a Christian 501(c)3 in Texas that pays to have 3 copies sent to most churches of Christ in the Northeast (and only supports churches/ministers that accept their creed). I wonder how many November editions have carried this same argument.

I commented on the article when it was published 2 years ago here at the blog, but will re-summarize everything.

Barry Baggott, in his article, “‘Tis the Season”

gives these reasons not to celebrate Christmas (by which he means, celebrating the birth of Jesus with hymns, readings prayers, etc.-Brian):

“We are not told to do so”

Do we need to be told to worship Jesus?  I understand he is dealing with specifics.  We were not told to emphasize the birth/incarnation on December 25th or on any particular day.  But why does that exclude doing what we are expected/commanded to do whenever we do it.  Just because some are doing it annually, why must we refrain at that particular moment?

We are told to worship Jesus.  Period.  When is it wrong?

“We have no Apostolic Example”

We have examples for worshipping Jesus.  Where does the Bible teach that it is right sometimes and wrong sometimes?

This section which includes the Reformation leaders reaction to Catholicism many holy days.  Fortunately, these same brethren are not aware of the full liturgical calendar or they would never allow us to talk about Jesus. 🙂

“We are following human tradition”

I believe this is where much of the reaction lies.  Some churches of Christ have allowed their teachings to be influenced greatly by what others do or don’t do.  We claim that the Bible is our only guide and source for Truth, for doctrine and practice, yet so often something is rejected because of who does it.  If someone doesn’t toe the line on the Holy Spirit, they are “pentecostal.”  If their view of baptism isn’t solidly in line with the editors, they are trying to be “baptist.”  If there is an appreciation of high church or mysticism, we are becoming Catholic.  I would love for my brothers to simply stick with the Word of God, as they claim, instead of worrying about what other churches teach.  Baggott refers to “the world” but means denominations, I assume.

Here is poorly reasoned statement:

“Another argument one hears is simply: ‘the birth of Christ is in the Bible, so that means celebrating Christmas is biblical.’  That same line of reasoning would allow one to say that “the Bible tells about the virgin Mary, so that means it is biblical to pray to her.’

There is no example of praying to Mary.  There are numerous examples of worshipping Jesus-as a baby and adult.  I wish he or the editor had thought about that argument a little longer.  The editor really should have kept that from the final version.

I truly hope there is a better reason out there for judging fellow believers as they rejoice over the Incarnation.

I will say more tomorrow about why I have rejected this view and finish up with some questions for those who hold to this view.