Silence Retreat-Day 6

I am learning something about fashion.  Monks have “Dress” robes for worship and special occasions, work robes for daily life and then “weekend-laying-around-the house-drinking beer-watching-TV” robes. Who knew?

The swimming robes are obviously one-piece and not real flattering.

On another fashion note, there seems to be some division among this group.  About half of them wear Tevas and the other half wear Birkenstocks.  Definitely some theological differences manifesting in footwear.

(First of all, these posts are jokes.  Secondly, they were scheduled before I left town, so I cannot reply or approve comments.  If your sense of humor can’t handle weird stuff, why are you here?)

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Silence Retreat-Day 5

Wow.  This is getting hard!

Can’t remember the last time I went this long without TV, internet, Facebook, and Twitter, or talking to human beings.

I am trying to imagine what Alex Baze and Weird Al might be tweeting right now.

Have they selected a new Pope yet?  Have there been anymore storms?  Is there any Kardashian or Beyonce news?????

My mind is playing tricks on me after not talking and not enjoying media of any kind for  days.

I hate that I am missing the new episodes of Alf and MASH.

I hope my twins and our pet rabbit are okay back home. and what’s-her-name….

Did the Cubs really win the NL pennant or was that a hallucination? Maybe it was a prophetic vision……

Is it bad that I named my ink pens and created backstories for all 8 of them?

Did Benedict and Loyola and Randy have these problems?

(First of all, these posts are jokes.  Secondly, they were scheduled before I left town, so I cannot reply or approve comments.  If your sense of humor can’t handle weird stuff, why are you here?)

Silence Retreat-Day 4

Apparently, talking to yourself aloud is not even allowed.  It must have been in the fine print.

Of course, being raised Church of Christ means I am not too familiar with these types of Spirituality and Disciplines.

The core Spiritual Disciplines of Churches of Christ are:

  • Bible Study
  • Not Sinning
  • Judging Others
  • Bible Study
  • Worshipping without Instruments

So, I didn’t realize how often I talk to myself.  Being quiet is even tough for this Introvert.  I prayed through the local white pages yesterday, then went for a walk.  If I can find a secluded place on the grounds, I can talk to myself more. It is not appreciated in the dining hall or hallways.

Also, whistling and humming is discouraged.  Probably because the monks have never heard Metallica whistled before.

(First of all, these posts are jokes.  Secondly, they were scheduled before I left town, so I cannot reply or approve comments.  If your sense of humor can’t handle weird stuff, why are you here?)

Silence Retreat-Day 3

There are some really hot-looking nuns here.  I was surprised.  I mean, probably not attractive enough to make it into one of the “Babes of St. Benedict’s” calenders to raise money for Catholic Charities, but impressive.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are a couple who seem to have taken a Vow of Ugly.

You know those people who talk and talk and talk on the phone and it’s hard to even say a word.  There’s a guy here like that.  Except we aren’t supposed to talk so he is constantly make hand gestures and facial expressions.  Very annoying.

(First of all, these posts are jokes.  Secondly, they were scheduled before I left town, so I cannot reply or approve comments.  If your sense of humor can’t handle weird stuff, it’s probably too late.)

Sinatra and the Decline of US Civilization

I am not a huge Sinatra fan but for 99 cents I will definitely buy a 22-song Greatest Hits compilations of one of the greatest.  As I enjoyed the music I noticed a few shocking things.  I was kinda surprised by some lyrics and content.  This was the 50s and 60s, right?  Maybe the Golden Age wasn’t so innocent and pure….

“Luck be a Lady” has some innuendo that doesn’t require a dirty mind to catch

So, is your favorite town Chicago or New York, Frank??  Make up your mind.  I mean, this is the type of post-modern, wishy-washy, no absolutes thinking we have come to expect from the current generation.  But in the 50s?

“Bewitched” is obviously about the occult.  I hear that if you play it in reverse, you hear, “Happy Birthday, Mr. Crowley.”

Hedonism runs through many hits:

  • “The Good Life “
  • “Drinking Again”
  • “Strangers in the Night”
  • “exotic booze” mentioned in “Come fly with me.”
  • More drinking in “The Best is Yet to Come”

“Call Me Irresponsible” Really?  “Unreliable, Undependable”?  If the Greatest Generation had been any of these we would be speaking German right now!

“Nothing but the Best” preaches materialism.

And “My Way”  An ode to selfishness, ego, individualism.