Silence Retreat-Day 4

Apparently, talking to yourself aloud is not even allowed.  It must have been in the fine print.

Of course, being raised Church of Christ means I am not too familiar with these types of Spirituality and Disciplines.

The core Spiritual Disciplines of Churches of Christ are:

  • Bible Study
  • Not Sinning
  • Judging Others
  • Bible Study
  • Worshipping without Instruments

So, I didn’t realize how often I talk to myself.  Being quiet is even tough for this Introvert.  I prayed through the local white pages yesterday, then went for a walk.  If I can find a secluded place on the grounds, I can talk to myself more. It is not appreciated in the dining hall or hallways.

Also, whistling and humming is discouraged.  Probably because the monks have never heard Metallica whistled before.

(First of all, these posts are jokes.  Secondly, they were scheduled before I left town, so I cannot reply or approve comments.  If your sense of humor can’t handle weird stuff, why are you here?)

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Silence Retreat-Day 3

There are some really hot-looking nuns here.  I was surprised.  I mean, probably not attractive enough to make it into one of the “Babes of St. Benedict’s” calenders to raise money for Catholic Charities, but impressive.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are a couple who seem to have taken a Vow of Ugly.

You know those people who talk and talk and talk on the phone and it’s hard to even say a word.  There’s a guy here like that.  Except we aren’t supposed to talk so he is constantly make hand gestures and facial expressions.  Very annoying.

(First of all, these posts are jokes.  Secondly, they were scheduled before I left town, so I cannot reply or approve comments.  If your sense of humor can’t handle weird stuff, it’s probably too late.)

Silence Retreat-Day 2

Well, I organized my phobias and neuroses alphabetically and chronologically.  I also prayed for all of my fantasy baseball teams, mentioning each player by name.  That took most of the day yesterday.

Met with my spiritual adviser this morning.  We had a healthy discussion about who was more talented:  Pearl Jam or Nirvana.  I told him that I have learned to appreciate Pearl Jam’s rhythm a lot more in recent years, but that Cobain’s talent and influence have not been overhyped because of his premature death.  We both agree that Mike McCready is uber-talented.

(First of all, these posts are jokes.  Secondly, they were scheduled before I left town, so I cannot reply or approve comments.  If your sense of humor can’t handle weird stuff, feel free to stay away this week.)

Silence Retreat-Day 1

I arrived safely yesterday afternoon.  It’s a lovely area.  I was a little surprised by the wetbar in the mini-fridge but I have lots to learn about Ignatian Spirituality.

The free copy of Pope Illustrated was waiting on my bed.  Already lists the top 5 likely replacements.  Cool.

I wonder what happened on the Bachelor last night.  I wonder how Tierra and her eyebrows are doing.  Will be praying for Sean.

(First of all, these posts are jokes.  Secondly, they were scheduled before I left town, so I cannot reply or approve comments.  If your sense of humor can’t handle weird stuff, feel free to stay away this week.)

I am Thankful for Internet Dumb Headlines

Opinion: Ready for new type of terror?

My opinion: Are you trying to win a contest for dumbest question ever?

Obama’s trip cut short by volcanic ash

Former Speaker of the House Pelosi gives detailed explanation of how the Tea Party was at fault.

The bottom-line for dieters: Eat less

?!?!!? uh, thanks?

Pirates free couple after year in captivity

They quickly regretted buying season tickets.  Thankfully, they are now free.

Lebron James of Miami  Heat humbled by Time’s Person of the Year nomination

Lebron:  humbled.  Rest of America: confused.  Brett Favre: shocked, furious, jealous.

Pirate lake widow leaves Texas (cnn.com)

Is this a headline or a Mad lib?

UK will compensate Gitmo Detainees

All the while hoping to find a 3-pt shooter, a perimeter defender, and a rebounder.  Go Cats!